The smoke lingers.
The smell between my fingers.
The taste on my mouth,
The room spins around.
I want that first high,
a feeling I will never get right.
I chase and I chase,
something I can never replace.
The time I waste trying to replicate.
I feel like I’m running through a maze
I’m outta place, I’m in a haze.
Drag after drag,
ash after ash.
I move to the next thing,
Something with more strength
Something crazy and insane.
So I take a shot than a hit.
from a vice that doesn’t mean shit.
I’m numb, my throat’s dry, I cant spit.
I’m gone, barely alive, I can’t quit.
I try and I try from the floor where I lie
trying to detoxify while I’m mystified.
How much did I buy?
I break down and cry!
I must stop to survive.
A habit, like another gateway
A demon that I can’t slay
No more good days
my demons want to surface
I feel less than perfect
Like maybe I’m just a burden
My failures are like a circuit
I promise it’s not on purpose
My demons make me nervous
The first time was the best
but it will never compare to the rest.
I will soon be six feet deep in the grave.
Dealing with craziness as my world goes insane.
Time goes by that i can never save.
All for a sensation something stupid I crave.
For a feeling that will never be the same.
A crutch like an animal that i can never tamed.