Life: Go Disrupt Yourself

A lot happens in life that can disrupt daily routines. As I sit out on the balcony of my apartment, a place I have only lived in for 21 days, I see a lot going on. I see kids playing between the buildings, people coming and going, and sounds of ambulances (I live close to the hospital).

I stop to wonder what would happen if any of these people where to have experienced what I’ve experienced? Would they be able to handle it or would they breakdown in grief and dismay? I don’t like to talk about what I’ve been through that much, but maybe I should. That’s a conversation for another time though.

My point is that sometimes I look at the people going on about their day and I wonder. Will I ever have a routine again? I mean as soon as I was getting into a routine from the first disruption, I was hit with the second one. Most people don’t understand how much I miss the mundane, doing the same thing over and over everyday would be a welcomed change to the amount of paperwork, phone calls, and uncertainty that I deal with. It’s sounds like a desk job but in reality it’s a me just picking up the pieces from everything that has happen. I am to the point that I hate phone calls and people coming to my door, those two things cause so much anxiety for me that I come close to just shutting down. I just can’t afford anymore bad news, that I’ve become an introvert that is starting to borderline on recluse. I’m sure that if I were to drop dead I would still have anxiety, yet what can I do about it?

I have to take care of my children and move forward to show them that you can’t let a little hardship define you and bring you down. I brave on for them. Maybe someday I will figure out how to deal with this anxiety, and when that time comes maybe than I will be able to relax.

via Daily Prompt: Disrupt

Froth: Love Incarnate.

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We are like the sea and the land, the beach and the water colliding. Agitating one another, with a passionate friction, the ebb and tide creating a luminescent glow that only we knew about. We belong by each other but not with each other. You are meant for things I could never imagine and I, the same in your eyes.

I wish that we could be as the ponds or the lakes. The land holding the water, surrounding it and letting it erode parts away. Till the water is comfortable and free yet protected.

At last that can not be us, for you the sea are to much to tame an entity all it’s self, free and unpredictable. Yet calm, cool, and tranquil when needed.

And I the land, although I am very important for life, I sometimes wish to be set free! To rumble and crack, having you fill every crevice of my being! To feel the tsunamis of your love crash against my shores, in euphoric ecstasy. The ebb and tide of your waves moving across my beach with such pleasure that we can’t help but froth!

Yet it can not be, for we are too important in our own worlds and to our own creatures! We found our niche and that is were we belong, but to say I have forgotten what we had or what we once were would be ridiculous. The memories of what created, what we now are, will forever be ingrained in my life.

A super continent and massive body of water inchoate in life. We started young and have come so far. So it is, that we must learn to coexist together without sabotaging what we’ve accomplished.

via Daily Prompt: Froth

We were Luminescent

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From the moment I saw her walk into my class, I knew that she would change my life. I could feel it, I was in love and that was it. A luminescent love that had yet to reach the temperature of incandescence.

Oh what I wouldn’t give to be her everything. I wanted to be the cardigan she wore, loosely fitting but tight enough to feel secure. I wanted to be her glasses, to see the world through her eyes. I wanted to be her phone, something so important that it was always by her side. I wanted to be the book she read before she went to bed, getting all the attention form her. I wanted to be her mirror, to watch her insecurities disappear as she danced and sang in front of me.  I wanted to be her blankets, to cocoon her in a long embrace, trapping her own warmth within and just letting her melt into a vulnerable state.

But most importantly I wanted to be all those things at once, I wanted to be her best friend. The person that could do all those things at once. But I new that I would have to step up my own luminescence, and step out of my comfort zone, A simple gesture would not win her over, it would have to be a triumphant display. I knew I was in for a fight and I was more than ready!

Put a Rush On It

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Everyone lives their life in a rush. How soon can I get this, how quickly can I have that. It’s a time when everyone want’s everything handed to them, and they want it done posthaste. I’ve even been guilty of doing it. We can’t seem to wait for things anymore. For instance if I order something online I want the option for two day delivery or even over night. In my mind I can’t afford to wait four to five days for it to come in through standard shipping. When we have our mind set of something that we want than everything else doesn’t matter at all.

We go outta our way to get the thing we desire most asap. Despite the fact that Wednesday is the least busiest day of the week, why would we want to wait or mind is made up and it has to be done now! I have time between work and class or I could go on my lunch and do it. The bad part is that’s the adult mentality.

The youth have picked up on  this rush mentality from us. The main difference is that youth can’t always do stuff for themselves to accomplish what they want. Lord help the parents whos kids demand that they want what they want now. Sometimes it feels like it doesn’t matter what you have going on ,it has to happen when they want it to happen. So what do you do as a parent when it comes to this, how do you teach your kids to learn to wait?

I feel like maybe it has a lot to do with how much of a rush your in. If you go out to get that item you just realized five minutes ago that you really need than why would your kids not pick up on that habit. Sometimes we forgo updates and better items cause we don’t want to wait another day or week for something. We need to learn to look at our circumstances and figure out if we can really afford to drop everything for something that is sometimes very minimal?

What lesson do we teach our children by example if all we do is expect everyone to put a rush on everything? We must make changes and practice patience in order to instill in our kids the importance of waiting.

via Daily Prompt: Rush

Life Is Cray

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When we start to actually experience life to it’s fullest, we come to quickly realize that our cups are neither half full or half empty. In fact we find out rather quickly that the proverbial cup is actually a body of water that forces us to either sink or swim. We have many trials throughout life where we must decided what we must do.

Sometimes we see two options and we think we have time to make up our minds. Will you go right or left, will we take the blue pill or red pill or do we ascend or descend. Sometimes both outcomes are favorable, yet sometime one will burn us and the other will benefit us. We are hard wired to assume that we must always climb or that we have to make the right choice. That’s not how it always works out. When the time finally comes to make the choice we find that sometimes that choice is already made for us.

Life will always try to thwart us in ways that we may not always understand. Our comprehension of the situation is what will ultimately decide if life actually thwarted us or not. Some of the things we have to consider are,

  1. Did we learn something from the experience? Did we achieve new knowledge from the situation?
  2. What is our standing after the fact? Are we better off or did we come up short?
  3. Could it have been worse? If you come up short, is it really that bad?
  4. Will I be ready for the next time? Can I better circumnavigate this situation in the future?

We can’t exactly practice life. It’s not like getting better at a game, life just happens how it’s going to happen. So if we can’t take something away from the trial than life has thwarted us.

We must learn to go with life and have the determination to always find the silver lining. It’s not always easy to except that things happened for a reason, but when you learn to do so, you learn how to enjoy the journey to the next crossroads.

via Daily Prompt: Thwart

Inchoate In Life

Life and death, alpha and omega, the be-all end-all, those are a few of the things use to describe the totality that is life. A series of moments intertwined into a legacy. A legacy left behind to be remembered by. The sad reality is that sometimes a legacy doesn’t matter, we fade away into obscurity and a handful of years later we are all but forgotten. I hold on to the hope that I still have plenty of time to achieve my magnum opus, and cement my name in the list of immortals. I mean who doesn’t want to live forever?

Yet you are barely Inchoate in your life. You are at the nexus of the crossroads of life, with the whole world, your whole life, ahead of you. Yet in the quiet moments when I hold you both, I can see in your eyes that you are going to change the world! Don’t hesitate, act fast but act with deliberate ideology and understanding of the moral complexity of the situation. Strick with unabridged power but also with sound understanding.

You will both set out on your own legacies, choosing your own paths and nurture your own growth. You will have many teachers along the way, in different areas of life and different vocations. The teaching that they will instill in you will be more valuable than anything in in this life. They will be something that no one can ever take away from you, a weapon, a defense, a strategy, and a knowledge to make it through this life.

For a small fraction of your life, during the inchoate years, you will see the world as neutral. You may even see it as happy and enjoyable. Cherish those moments when life is nothing more than a playground. Believe me, the playground will quickly turn into a battlefield that will draft you into its war with no remorse. During these times when thing seem bleak and gray, you must remember your teachers and their lesson. Advice becomes priceless and learning from others mistakes is an invaluable commodity. I urge you to never be too self-centered and pompous that you can’t except advice from others who try to help. I promise you no matter how old you get and how much you have learned, you will never know everything. Seek the advice of those who have been through your struggles and learn from those who know more than you do. Even if at times the people that know more are the people who are younger than you. You should never be too proud that you can not learn from others, despite their age.

You are both fighters and you’ve come from a long line of fighter. You have both already been met with adversity and challenges beyond your wildest imaginations. So I know that deep down inside both of you there is a fighter, a fighter ready to set forth and change the world! I promise as long as I am here with both of you, I am by your side. You will make great strides in the paths you choose. So keep fighting for the things that matter. Keep fighting for knowledge, for understanding, for truth, and especially for yourself!

In It For The Long Haul!

I’m in it for the long Haul. Life is unfair, seeming to put us through misery more than victory. Victory is fleeting, difficult to achieve and harder to keep. Life is meant to be lived for those small victories, and the moments in between. When we are going through struggle than we must remember that “this too shall pass”. Our determination and will to push forward, despite life trying to haul us down. That will is what will make the Victory sweeter, but we must enjoy the victory to it’s fullest because “this too shall pass”.

I’ve had my share of unforgiving moments in life, times that felt like I would never make it out of. The death of my parents, the scare of my daughter being in the NICU, the death of my wife and birth of my son, and a house fire. all within 11 years. Which seems like a long time but when those years are filled with so much chaos and uncertainty. You start to forget how to enjoy the calm and peace that come after the victory. I was finding my self more stressed that I wasn’t stressed.

I’ve learned a lot in those years, who my true friends are, who my real family is, and how to keep pushing forward. Determination and understanding is the only thing that will get you through the long haul. Determination to keep moving forward for you, your family or even your loved ones. Understanding that no matter how hard things seem they will get better! We push forward while everything tries to haul us down.

In an eradicate life full of uncertainty and rigmarole, you must enjoy the little moments in life. That is the only way to make to good times out way the long arduous bad times. When you can enjoy sometime with friends laughing and talking, a moment to enjoy a good movie, a relaxing hobby, time with family. Every little bit helps to outnumber the bad, these little moments are the sweetest. They may not be a full victory, but winning the battle goes along way towards victory in the war!

via Daily Prompt: Haul