For the longest time I thought the old idiom “Love is blind” meant that you didn’t see imperfection in those you loved. It meant that you loved them for them, despite their looks, their race, or their flaws. That it would be vain to choose someone based on those merits because everyone deserved to be loved and that personality and attitude could overcome physical features.
Over the years I’ve learned that, that is not the case at all. My interpretation is not the true meaning of the idiom. After being in multiple relationships and seeing my friends in relationships, some good and some bad, for both, I’ve learned a few things.
Sometimes we want a relationship so bad that we overlook red flags, warning signs and friends advice. We see a perfect relationship without faults, in our mind everything is copasetic. We harmonize with our partner and things couldn’t be better. It’s not till it’s to late that we start to see how toxic the relationship is. We can finally lift the cull and see the duality of the relationship.
Our friends might try to intervene, in an attempt to help, but we ignore it, because we are blinded by love. An ailment that we can do nothing for, “just let it run it’s course”. Having been on both sides of this phenomena, I can attest to the pain felt from both sides. As the person in the relationship, it is usually to late before you realize that there was even a problem.
On the other side of the spectrum, as a friend having to watch it happen, you can’t help but almost mourn for your friend going through it. You wish they would heed your advice about the relationship. You would give anything for them to see that you are only trying to help. Sometimes they may see it as a selfish attempt, by you the friends, to take up their time.
Of course as friends we must learn to respect that we will not always get to spend time with those we love due to insurmountable circumstances. Be it work, school, love interests or scheduling. We must learn to enjoy and make the most of the limited amount of time we get together. Creating memories instead of rehashing conversations about past mistakes. In friendships I find that sometimes we must let the past die before we people will prove that they have changed.
Abuse, manipulation, and irrational behavior are all signs of blind love. In certain situation a person can try to justify behavior that maybe illicit, unable to distinguished between right and wrong.
Blind love isn’t always a bad thing in some cases blind love can be beautiful. Being able to transcend race, age, handicap, and flaws, being the purest form of unconditional love. In these cases blind love is actually a beautiful thing. But learning to differentiate between the wrong and right kind of blind love can be difficult for most. To say that we have not all been blinded at one point would be a lie. So maybe we need to take a step back and agree to only step in when we feel our friends are the most vulnerable. On the flip side we should also agree to take a moment to consider where are friends are coming from, when they decide to confront us about our situation in a relationship.
Love, each other and except that we all make mistakes. We must be ready at any moment to help each other out and pick each other up! Friendship is something that we all need in our lives, to me friends where there before relationships and so they should be held in high regards when compared to the relationship.
As always, thank you my Committed Reader.
I hope you enjoyed this as much I as I enjoy writing it.