Love is Blind

For the longest time I thought the old idiom “Love is blind” meant that you didn’t see imperfection in those you loved. It meant that you loved them for them, despite their looks, their race, or their flaws. That it would be vain to choose someone based on those merits because everyone deserved to be loved and that personality and attitude could overcome physical features.

Over the years I’ve learned that, that is not the case at all. My interpretation is not the true meaning of the idiom. After being in multiple relationships and seeing my friends in relationships, some good and some bad, for both, I’ve learned a few things.

Sometimes we want a relationship so bad that we overlook red flags, warning signs and friends advice. We see a perfect relationship without faults, in our mind everything is copasetic. We harmonize with our partner and things couldn’t be better. It’s not till it’s to late that we start to see how toxic the relationship is. We can finally lift the cull and see the duality of the relationship.

Our friends might try to intervene, in an attempt to help, but we ignore it, because we are blinded by love. An ailment that we can do nothing for, “just let it run it’s course”. Having been on both sides of this phenomena, I can attest to the pain felt from both sides. As the person in the relationship, it is usually to late before you realize that there was even a problem.

On the other side of the spectrum, as a friend having to watch it happen, you can’t help but almost mourn for your friend going through it. You wish they would heed your advice about the relationship. You would give anything for them to see that you are only trying to help. Sometimes they may see it as a selfish attempt, by you the friends, to take up their time.

Of course as friends we must learn to respect that we will not always get to spend time with those we love due to insurmountable circumstances. Be it work, school, love interests or scheduling. We must learn to enjoy and make the most of the limited amount of time we get together. Creating memories instead of rehashing conversations about past mistakes. In  friendships I find that sometimes we must let the past die before we people will prove that they have changed.

Abuse, manipulation, and irrational behavior are all signs of blind love. In certain situation a person can try to justify behavior that maybe illicit, unable to distinguished between right and wrong.

Blind love isn’t always a bad thing in some cases blind love can be beautiful. Being able to transcend race, age, handicap, and flaws, being the purest form of unconditional love. In these cases blind love is actually a beautiful thing. But learning to differentiate between the wrong and right kind of blind love can be difficult for most. To say that we have not all been blinded at one point would be a lie. So maybe we need to take a step back and agree to only step in when we feel our friends are the most vulnerable. On the flip side we should also agree to take a moment to consider where are friends are coming from, when they decide to confront us about our situation in a relationship.

Love, each other and except that we all make mistakes. We must be ready at any moment to help each other out and pick each other up! Friendship is something that we all need in our lives, to me friends where there before relationships and so they should be held in high regards when compared to the relationship.

As always, thank you my Committed Reader.

I hope you enjoyed this as much I as I enjoy writing it.

-EB

Muted Emotions

I put pen to pad and text to page.

But no matter what I say.

I can’t find the words to explain.

All the emotions, feelings, and rage!

Word after word and phrase after phrase.

It’s driving me crazy I’m going insane!

I write letters that become words

words that make sentences, to form a verse.

Yet the more I elaborate the more the meaning blurs.

I try and try but the more I write,

the more the meaning dies.

The explanation in my mind,

becomes outta reach and outta sight

You deserve an explanation,

And even with all my concentration

It’s on the tip of my tongue, like a flirtation.

An elaboration full of frustration.

I wish I could explain, the thoughts in my brain

Bound and chained, locked up and contained

A feeling that wont wane, my writing is in vain

I’m no longer sane, thanks to all of this strain.

How do I do it, how do I get through it?

My speech, writing and movements aren’t fluid.

I feel stupid, I guess I’m just not fluent.

In the language of emotion, I’m clueless.

And I can’t refute it, for now I must remain muted.

via Daily Prompt: Elaborate

Losers Club

I guess when they say Good comes from bad there is some truth in it. When I was faced with the worst situation possible I assumed the worse. I would never have guessed that an attempt to clear my mind and distract myself would turn out to have an even better outcome. I would not have made it through the majority of the struggles I’ve been through if it hadn’t been for my best friends!

Caleb

20171021_153935

Caleb was there for a little over half a year when everything happened. The way we became best friends is a crazy story on its own! We have our moments and our ups and downs, but what friends don’t? He has put up with a lot thanks to me, from crazy road trips to strong displays of affection.

We have both been through hell in our lives, and if there was ever an instance of iron sharpening iron this is it! I’m here for you bro and I know that the feeling in mutual, no question about it!

I can’t believe we have only been friends for just under a year and a half! Feels like we’ve been at it for decades! I can’t wait to see what comes next in our lives, But I’m sure with you as my best friend there is nothing that could stop us!

Selena

4F934CB8-A333-45B8-B67F-BCB853C667FA.png

I will be honest about Selena, I was just gonna write “Crazy” and move on to Kelly. Honestly, I remember the first time Caleb mentioned Selena, I think the first thing outta my mouth was “who the f*ck is that?” Honestly, when I first met Selena I thought she was annoying! Yet the more I got to know her the more she grew on me.

I mean how bad could someone that shares the same birthday be?

In the short time that I have known Selena, I’ve learned a lot about her! For starters, I know I wasn’t as strong and determined when I was her age. I’ve seen this girl breakdown talk it out and conquer her problems. Taking on hurdle after hurdle, this girl is non-stop. She is always ready to hang out with her friends no matter the time or place.

Selena is the definition of what a true friend is! There is nothing I wouldn’t do for her (even breaking into her house for her). We have had a lot of fun and I know we will continue to! I love you Selena!

Kelly

82A425B8-82E1-4FDF-9FA2-98B181AA3694.png

Kelly is the one we have to watch out for the most, you know what they say “it’s the quiet ones”. I kid, although, Kelly is pretty quiet and conservative, she is also very caring, compassionate, and loyal. When I met Kelly I didn’t know what to think, I just knew that I needed to talk to her. Turns out my instinct was right!

Kelly reminds me of a song by Krayzie Bone “just because Krayzie quiet speak less. Don’t be mistaking my kindness for weakness. Humble but ready to rumble” She is pretty easy going but f*ck with her and see what happens! Lol. She is also pretty open to new experiences. She may seem quiet but once you get her started she is capable of some very deep and profound conversation! She is very supportive of her friends. P.S. Kelly is also a gamer!

I can’t even begin to explain the role that Kelly played, while I was trying to cope with my situation and deal with my emotions. I have to say thank you for putting up with it and helping me through that! I’m excited for the future and can’t wait to see where the rest of the club and us end up! I love you, and thank you!

Friends

I know that I have done quite a few post relating to friendship and I guess that is just my mood lately. Friendship means a lot to me, I would trade riches for experiences with my friends, memories are worth more than material things to me. These three prove that, I don’t know where I would have ended up if I didn’t have them in my life.

Don’t get me wrong there were others that helped me through my struggles in their own way, and I am grateful to them. I love everyone that is apart of my life, and I mean no disrespect to those I didn’t mention.

As for whether this is my last friendship post? Don’t count on it I’m sure these Losers will give me more to write about!

Loyal Friends

Customer Loyalty Delusion

It is a well received notion in the business industry that aggressive marketing and advertising is number one when it comes to growth and revenue. New consumers are the life blood of a business, but at the same times innovation and costumer loyalty are just as important. Showing old customers that your business can adapt to meet there needs is the best way to bringing them back.

Business 101, Advertise, advertise, advertise! Most stores and businesses want to gain new and old customers alike, going as far as spending tons of money on ads. The problem with that is that in the process of gaining new costumers and reacquiring old ones, companies loose sight of the Loyal Customer.

Loyal Customers (LC) are the ones who never waver, they are committed and understanding. LC’s are the ones who will also attract more costumers, just because they love your company.

Value-Of-Customer-Loyalty

So lets be honest. Do companies really care about their LC’s or do they only care about their new customers?

  • First, Companies focus on ads aimed at new customers.
  • Second, They spend a lot of money on those ads.
  • Third, all the “sales” they have are not for the LC’s, they are a vague gimmick used by companies to allow their LC’s to help recruit potential customers.

It’s a sick system when new customers get a great discount or a lower monthly payment and yet the LC gets nothing. Why? Because they aren’t going anywhere? If the only time companies worry about there costumers is when they want new ones or they are about to loose old ones. Is that really best practice?

Friendship Delusion

Now if we juxtapose our lives with a business model, will we find that we treat our Loyal Friends better than companies treat their LC’s? I’m not saying that we spend multiple k’s a year trying to aggressively target new friends through ads. (Although I guess you could, and I’m sure people due on craigslist, or is that prosti… Never mind back to the topic). By all means I am also not saying you shouldn’t invest time in trying to mend friendships that have gone astray either.

The difference between life and business is that one has you spending money to better it and the other has you spending Time. How much time are you willing to spend on mending a friendship or finding a new one? How much time do we actually spend making our loyal friends feel important?

New friends and old friends are important, but don’t alienate your loyal friends. Loyal friends that took you lots of time to develop, to bond with, and to become close. These are the friends that deserve a little more time and effort. We can’t treat loyal friends like a pair of shoes, we can’t just pick and choose which friend we hang out with like they are interchangeable.

friends

Show them how much they mean to you, spend a little more Time and Effort with them. Loyal friends are the ones that will guide you through the rest of your life, through thick and thin. So don’t treat them like some kind of friend for rent.

In Closing

What did we learn? Loyalty is worth so much more than we value it. The time we invest in it is just as valuable. Even if those Loyal Friends are a bunch of losers you randomly went with to see a movie. Now they are your Losers and they should be treated as such.

I thank you for your time My Committed Reader.

I look forward to the next time we get to do this again.

-EB

via Daily Prompt: Vague

Day Twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight

The apartment is now becoming more of a home! New décor, more personalizing, and feeling comfy. Than there is the same old relaxing things we’ve come to love about the apartment like the rock quarry upstairs, the fragrant smell of cannabis, and the ghost!

Also, as for my lightbulb dilemma, it’s still a pain in my ass! I went to Lowe’s and could not find the lightbulbs, when I finally found lightbulbs I couldn’t find the ones I needed. Not to mention the employees at said store (Huh? What? You mean I’ve already said the name of the store? Oops!). Lowe’s employees were no help!

My sink was draining really slow! I bout a cheap snake to clean it out. Oh my Lawd! It was disgusting, that’s what the picture up top is! 😛

I introduced myself to the new neighbor and she offered me milk. Yay it threw me off too!

They did come and fix my A.C. so yay victory! More to report in a few days

“Am I A Good Person?

“Am I a bad man
Cause I tried to get the things I never had, man
Was dealt the bad hand
But I maintain my life and changed my life
Even with these cards, I play the game right
Could you please shine one of your blessings down on me?
My life is a mess, many levels of stress and I really could use one now”

-Krayzie Bone

Good Person?

Am I a good person? Lets admit it, the world has teeth! Rows of razor sharp, soul crushing teeth, that will bite down when you lease expect it. I could sugar coat it but seriously once you hit a certain age the world loses it’s sugar coating. The reality is that growing up brings new challenges and affords new possibilities. It’s a kind of world that you are excited for when you are young but that excitement is quickly turned to misery and confusion. Life itself has a way of testing us at every turn with an unbiased, and non discriminatory attitude!

Life an equal opportunity hardship!

Most people are not born with a silver spoon in their mouth. The majority of humans must work, toil, and labor for an opportunity to afford a living wage. Yet the thing that amazes me is the people that have experienced life’s bite. The people who have gone through hell and still continue to thrive, and not just thrive but actually go out and have a smile on there face. These individuals are able to see something that others can’t, they are wired to think differently, they have the ability to show humility and compassion in the face of grief and misfortune. Why?

Because they are “a good person”. These people would give you all they had if it meant they were helping other. They would just as quickly give you their shirt or shoes than to let you go without.

This is something that I struggle with and I’m sure others do to. I don’t consider myself a bad person by any means. I do what I can to provide for my family, even in the midst of hardship. There isn’t a thing I wouldn’t do, and that is where the dichotomy lies. What would I do for my family? If this was a game of cards and I “was dealt a bad hand” I would do the normal thing. Bluff.

The thing is this isn’t a card game, and the decisions that I make as to how to handle situations has a ripple effect. If I bluff about my hand to garner favor, or assistance, am I really making myself happy? No. If I really wanted to be happy I would look for a way to bring joy to myself and others not just manipulate it so I can benefit.

I would fight for every chance to help instead of be helped. Look for chances to give, time, support, donations, attention or anything else. Yes we all go through times of need when life bites, but we have all felt that overwhelming sensation when people come together to help you. Even when all they do is check in on you.

Reciprocate! That is how we can be “a good person”. If we can be overwhelmed by joy from someone sharing with us, than imagine the feeling of being on the opposite side of that. To be the one that makes someone feel overwhelmed. Help others cause you never know when you’ll need their help too.

Thank you my Committed Reader

-EB

 

Writers Block

Yesterday I experienced my first onset of writers block. Since starting this blog I have never had to deal with writers blog. I found it easy to go with my daily prompts and write something everyday.

I felt a crushing defeat yesterday when I could not think of a thing to write. I was so disappointed in myself. I thought the worst and almost had a panic attack, but I took a step back and decided at around 11:30pm that there was no reason to worry. I could crank out something quickly but I knew it wouldn’t be something I would be proud of.

I gave in and decided to give my brain a rest, It seems like exactly what I needed because I came back and here I am two post and three drafts later and it’s like I never missed a beat. Oh, and funny thing my site still gained new followers and more views and likes regardless of my absence.

So  if I learned anything yesterday is that sometimes creativity needs a day off. A moment to relax and reinvigorate it’s self. If you work seven days a week your bound to get fatigue and your work will suffer so if you wouldn’t do that at a job, why would you allow yourself to do it in your writing. You don’t want it to become a chore if it’s something you love doing.

So go play a game, go for a walk, hang with your friends, or read something interesting, you deserve it!

Till Next Time My Committed Reader

-EB

The Artifact

This was an early attempt for me to write a horror story from a phrase I heard people use a lot. I even used it with my girlfriends too. The structure is bad and it needs work but I am publishing it as a way to show how far I’ve come. I hope you enjoy.

The damp smell of dirt filled Jen’s nostrils. It was a smell that Jen enjoyed while standing on the porch with her dad before a storm. A smell that Jen knew would no longer have a pleasant memory, but would come with a sharp sting. That is if Jen ever made it out alive.
   The tape around Jen’s wrist was no longer gripping to her skin but it’s hold on itself was well cemented. Jen spun the tape around her wrists trying to feel for the edge but with no luck.
   She swore at times she could hear breathing but Jen had been unable to calm herself enough to be sure. The small strips of light under her blindfold didn’t help Jen with that, nor did it help her know where she was.
   She had tried her hardest not to fight the restraints around her ankles. Jen figured if she got out an injured ankle wouldn’t be helpful. So Jen just kept trying the tape around her wrists.
   
   The lasting thing Jen remembered is being at a party. Bobby Crider, was following her around at a distance. Bobby had always seemed weird to Jen, but this was weird even for Bobby. She dismissed this and continued to party with her friends.
   Mark Nathaniel, was among the group Jen was partying with. Mark was an athlete, he had just been announced valedictorian, was the state wrestling champion and seemed to never notice Jen. Tonight however was different. Mark had been bringing Jen drinks all night, he had talked to her a couple of times and when the party was winding down he made sure to take Bobby with him. Jen was on cloud 9 and nothing was going to bring her down.

   Jen had been concentrating when the hand touched her face. It was a soft stroke with the back of the hand, yet it startled Jen enough to cause her to almost fall backwards in the chair.
   “Who is there?” Jen asked. No one answered. “What do you want?” again silence. “Is it money? Are you going to have your way with me?” Jen realized that her questions where making her upset. Jen had so many possibilities running through her mind on why he wanted her.
   A loud crash followed by a few angry murmurs startled Jen again. The sound produced by the artifact reminded Jen of something but she couldn’t picture it. The murmurs seemed familiar. Jen wondered if this was someone she knew. Maybe this would be a way for her to talk them out of whatever it was they were planning. The only problem was, how would she figure out who it was?

After the party Jen and her friends decided to go hang out at the lake. James van Horn, Jen’s old boyfriend, tagged along. In Jen’s opinion there was a good reason he was an ex. James loved to smother Jen all the time. Jen had no escape from him. James would always write her love letters and buy her little things. It wasn’t that Jen hated the attention. She just felt like James was too obsessive about her. He bought her stuff even if it meant he wouldn’t have money to buy lunch. The thing that made it worse was when Jen would tell him that “he didn’t have to” James would automatically say “well if I had to do it, it wouldn’t be as fun”. All Jen could think now was “since he’s here this won’t be as fun”.

   Jen sat in silence wondering how long they had been watching her mess with the tape around her wrists. Jen needed to rethink her plan, now that she knew someone was in the room watching her.
   “Do I know you?” Jen asked. Yet again no-one answered. Jen didn’t want to annoy them to the point that they would do something. So she just sat there thinking. Not noticing that she had started subconsciously messing with the tape again.

Daniel kept his distance from Jen from the moment he got to the lake. Daniel hated Jen.  Daniel had planned to propose to Ashley after graduation He loved her in every form of the word. He was convinced that Jen had broken Ashley and him up. When he caught Jen talking to Ashley before they broke up. What Daniel didn’t know was that Jen was only returning the notes she borrowed from Ashley for biology. No matter how much everyone tried to explain the situation to Daniel. He still blamed Jen. Jen eventually accepted that Daniel needed someone to blame about the break up.  

It was at the lake that Jen would have what she would later find out was her last drink of the night.


   The hand touched her face again, this time continuing down Jen’s neck and stopping just short of her breast.

   “What do you want? Please just say anything.” Jen said. Still no respond. “You don’t have to do this.”

   “Huh.” The mysterious man said.

   “Huh? Why huh? Please talk to me.” It went silent again. “Please, you don’t have…” Jen was cut off this time by a mocking voice.

“to do this.” The voice continued. “Just shut your mouth.”

“Why did you bring me here?”

“You brought yourself here.”

“What?”

“You don’t know who I am? You still haven’t figured it out?”

“Just let me go!” Somehow the idea that Jen knew who it was made her feel, more fearful of the situation.

“Why don’t you make me?”

“You’re a coward!”

“If you say so.”

“Show me your face you stupid coward!”

“You’ve seen my face not my fault you can’t remember.”

“Show it to me!”

“Why don’t you take that blindfold off and look for yourself.” The voice said laughing.

“Please let me go.” Jen had stopped talking loud, she was now talking in a low calm voice.

“Why don’t you yell again sweetheart maybe yell for help.” The voice egged Jen on. “I like it when you get frantic.”

“No use, you didn’t gag me so I’m sure we are somewhere where no one will ever hear me.” Jen continued talking in a low voice.

“You are a smart girl aren’t you.”

 

“Wanna see my new outfit for the formal?” Samantha asked Jen.

“Sure, mine comes in Thursday I can’t wait.”

“Here it is, what do you think?”

“Wow, where did you find a dress like that?”

“My aunt lives in California, she works at a department store, my mom told her about the form and she asked for measurements and sent me this dress.”

“Your so lucky! My dress is casual wear compared to yours.” Jen said with a giggle.

“Nah I’m sure yours looks great. What time do you need to be-” Samantha was interrupted by a voice coming up the stairs.

“Sam you home?” Sam’s dad came into view in the doorway. “Oh, Jen I didn’t know you were here.”

“Guess what dad, Jen’s dress for the formal is coming in on Thursday!” Sam said.

“That’s great. I bet your excited! I know Sam won’t shut up about it.” He started to walk away and stopped. “Oh. Um, Jen will you be joining us for dinner?

“I- I wish I could Mister Logan but my mom wants me home so i can do my chores. Thank you though.” Jen replied.

“Okay have fun you two.”

    “You don’t do chores, what’s that about?” Sam asked.

    “Nothing I just need to be home early today.”

    “Jen, we have been friends since the 4th grade, homies since the fourth of course remember? I know when something is up.”

    “Nothing is up.”

    “Bull crap!”

 

    Jen had quit talking to the voice altogether.

“Now why are you being so quiet? Just cause we are out in the middle of nowhere doesn’t mean you have to quit being sociable.” Jen still didn’t respond. All Jen could think about was the sound the artifact made when it hit the ground. She knew that sound but from where?

“Can I have some water?” Jen asked.

“Oh, trust me you won’t need any water, you won’t be here long enough to die of dehydration.”

“Can we get whatever it is over with?”

“Well we can sure get started but i’m going to do this as slow as possible, going to enjoy it, savor it.”

“What are you going to do to me?”

“Hush up now.” There it was again. The clank of the artifact hitting the floor. Jen’s brain started running through a mental rolodex of objects to noises.

“Damn thing always falling.” The voice grumbled. The next thing that touched Jen was cold and flat, It touched her where the hand had stopped. She felt a hand grab her shirt collar at the the side of her neck. Then a rip sound. The same thing was done to the opposite side. It was a knife. The hands of the voice cut Jen’s shirts from collar to the end of the sleeves.

 

“Okay, I will see you tomorrow at school.” Sam Said as she walked Jen to the garage.

“Okay, you should come over Thursday and see my dress.”

“Oh you bet your sweet ass I will.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Love you too.” Sam said opening the door. If Jen ever told Sam why she didn’t like staying over with her and her single dad it would tear them apart there is no way Sam would believe that her dad had anything to do with that.

“Later.”Sam said as she walked back upstairs.”

“Jen, are you leaving so soon.?” Sam’s dad asked from the garage.

“Yes mister Logan.”

“Do you want me to give you a ride? I’m heading to the store.” He said fishing his keys from his pocket, when he finally pulled them out he snagged the knife he kept clipped to his pocket. It fell towards the ground.

“No, thank you mister Logan.” Jen ran, she never once looked back. She wished for the chance to be able to tell Sam without ruining their friendship. There wasn’t a way to though. She was alone. No one would believe her if she told them. God only knew what mister Logan would do to Jen if she told.

 

The next rip came from Jens undershirt.

“What are you doing?” Jen shouted.

“Now you hold still or I might slip and cut you on accident.” The voice said putting his knife up to Jen’s throat. Jen was almost sure the voice belong to mister Logan.

“I won’t tell. Please. If you let me go, I promise I won’t say a word.”

“Don’t care.” By this point Jen still had her pants and bra on.

“Please I won’t tell anyone what you did. Please.”

“I haven’t done anything yet.” Jen started to panic. fear was starting to take control.

“Stop! Let me go!” Jen started to thrash in the chair catching the chin of the voice with her head.

“Ahh, you stupid bitch! If you don’t quit being dumb Imma bust your teeth out first. So behave!”

“Just let me go! Mister Logan you don’t have to do this!” Now the voice started laughing hysterically. The hands grabbed the blindfold and pulled it up. Now the voice had a face an identity.

“If I had to do it, it wouldn’t be as fun.”

A Song of Life

She walked in and everyone saw her, except me I didn’t see her, I sensed her. I sensed her in the increased blood flow throughout my body. I sensed her when my heart rate quickened and I was in cadence with her. I Sensed her in my shallow breathing, in sync with her steps. We were in rhythm but I doubt she would ever know.

A girl like that would never notice me. Why would she? I was a nobody. A nobody that seemed to syncopate every time she came near. I could feel her presence, and if that was the effect she had on me just by coming close, I could imagine what would happen if she ever touched me. I would daydream about what would happen if she ever came in contact with me. It would be a symphonic event that would start with a crescendo and would be filled with accents and trills that would send us over the top. An unstoppable force of rhythmic passion filled with affrettando and devoto. It would be our greatest compositions!

If that was just a touch, imagine what holding her would entail or even still, what would happen if we ever kiss! A daydream that would overcome me for months!

I would dream of creating music with her for the rest of my life! It would be an awesome song of life!

via Daily Prompt: Song