“Am I A Good Person?

“Am I a bad man
Cause I tried to get the things I never had, man
Was dealt the bad hand
But I maintain my life and changed my life
Even with these cards, I play the game right
Could you please shine one of your blessings down on me?
My life is a mess, many levels of stress and I really could use one now”

-Krayzie Bone

Good Person?

Am I a good person? Lets admit it, the world has teeth! Rows of razor sharp, soul crushing teeth, that will bite down when you lease expect it. I could sugar coat it but seriously once you hit a certain age the world loses it’s sugar coating. The reality is that growing up brings new challenges and affords new possibilities. It’s a kind of world that you are excited for when you are young but that excitement is quickly turned to misery and confusion. Life itself has a way of testing us at every turn with an unbiased, and non discriminatory attitude!

Life an equal opportunity hardship!

Most people are not born with a silver spoon in their mouth. The majority of humans must work, toil, and labor for an opportunity to afford a living wage. Yet the thing that amazes me is the people that have experienced life’s bite. The people who have gone through hell and still continue to thrive, and not just thrive but actually go out and have a smile on there face. These individuals are able to see something that others can’t, they are wired to think differently, they have the ability to show humility and compassion in the face of grief and misfortune. Why?

Because they are “a good person”. These people would give you all they had if it meant they were helping other. They would just as quickly give you their shirt or shoes than to let you go without.

This is something that I struggle with and I’m sure others do to. I don’t consider myself a bad person by any means. I do what I can to provide for my family, even in the midst of hardship. There isn’t a thing I wouldn’t do, and that is where the dichotomy lies. What would I do for my family? If this was a game of cards and I “was dealt a bad hand” I would do the normal thing. Bluff.

The thing is this isn’t a card game, and the decisions that I make as to how to handle situations has a ripple effect. If I bluff about my hand to garner favor, or assistance, am I really making myself happy? No. If I really wanted to be happy I would look for a way to bring joy to myself and others not just manipulate it so I can benefit.

I would fight for every chance to help instead of be helped. Look for chances to give, time, support, donations, attention or anything else. Yes we all go through times of need when life bites, but we have all felt that overwhelming sensation when people come together to help you. Even when all they do is check in on you.

Reciprocate! That is how we can be “a good person”. If we can be overwhelmed by joy from someone sharing with us, than imagine the feeling of being on the opposite side of that. To be the one that makes someone feel overwhelmed. Help others cause you never know when you’ll need their help too.

Thank you my Committed Reader

-EB

 

A Song of Life

She walked in and everyone saw her, except me I didn’t see her, I sensed her. I sensed her in the increased blood flow throughout my body. I sensed her when my heart rate quickened and I was in cadence with her. I Sensed her in my shallow breathing, in sync with her steps. We were in rhythm but I doubt she would ever know.

A girl like that would never notice me. Why would she? I was a nobody. A nobody that seemed to syncopate every time she came near. I could feel her presence, and if that was the effect she had on me just by coming close, I could imagine what would happen if she ever touched me. I would daydream about what would happen if she ever came in contact with me. It would be a symphonic event that would start with a crescendo and would be filled with accents and trills that would send us over the top. An unstoppable force of rhythmic passion filled with affrettando and devoto. It would be our greatest compositions!

If that was just a touch, imagine what holding her would entail or even still, what would happen if we ever kiss! A daydream that would overcome me for months!

I would dream of creating music with her for the rest of my life! It would be an awesome song of life!

via Daily Prompt: Song

Day Twenty-three

To day my A.C. unit started leaking and it began to flood my hallway. They knew about this and they chose to do nothing! Will they ever learn to address problems quicker?

I have no faith in them anymore…

Also if those neighbors don’t learn to settle their kids I will start banging on the damn ceiling! Literally they sound like people working out at Gold’s Gym!

I can’t even anymore!

Day Six

My daughter went to go take the canine out to make. I noticed that she had paused at the door, leaning forward and just standing there. I asked her if she wanted me to go with her? She said no I was just waiting for the neighbor to go back into their apartment before I went out.

I fear she is becoming more like me.

I am still trying to get comfortable living here. I have everything I need including my books, games, laptop and internet. Yet I find myself wondering around the apartment aimlessly. Maybe I am the ghost from early.

 

Day Five

We found out that one of our mail box keys does not work. Which is ridiculous because how else will I be able to receive my monthly Cosmo?

There was a power outage. Every building lost power. That’s okay it’s Oklahoma. There is a lot of wind. Crazy weather.

My main concern the stove is electric. Let that sink in for a minute. Right! I’m terrified.

 

Update

Katie and I were lounging on the balcony. A mother and her two little girls pulled up. The little girl looked up at us than pointed to the balcony and said look mom a dog!

I was about to tell her off for calling me a dog. Like who does she think she is?

Teach your kids some manners….

Wait never mind I forgot Nova was up here with us. Glad i didn’t say anything.

 

Depleted Moments

Battery Low

We have become a society that is crazily dependent on our cell phones for everything. They have become a crutch and have forced us to miss so many moments in life that once you step back and think about it it’s actually astonishing. I don’t know how many times a week I have to hear a complaint from some one (myself included) that goes along the lines of “Oh my phone is almost dead”. This one phrase is never a thing mumbled in a moment of silence or in between conversation. No it has been my experiences that people can’t help but feel obligated to interrupt whatever is going on to let people know that their phones battery has depleted. When this occurs it usually cause a change in conversation, it’s the equivalent of a wild card in Uno.

Why can’t we wait to say this? It’s bad enough that I find it tough to talk to someone that is constantly on their phone, yet this one thing bothers me the most. I would do my best to help you recharge your phone as long as you telling me doesn’t come at the expense of our conversation.

Depleted Moments

Also I feel like we need to learn to do without our phones around our friends. Why can’t we put our phones down to enjoy the time we have with our friends? Now that I am considered an adult and I have to plan out my time with my friends, I can’t understand why we would give up moments just to check our phone. It depletes the moments you have with your friends, I get if you need to answer a call or check a message really quick but there is no good excuse for being on your phone the majority of the time your with your friends.

This is something I really need to work on and something I hope those around me will too. We should learn to enjoy each other and the time we have together. Cell phones should come second. The next time I hang out with my friends I will spend time enjoying it and leave my phone in my pocket.

via Daily Prompt: Deplete

Froth: Love Incarnate.

frothing_sea_by_iudexncr

We are like the sea and the land, the beach and the water colliding. Agitating one another, with a passionate friction, the ebb and tide creating a luminescent glow that only we knew about. We belong by each other but not with each other. You are meant for things I could never imagine and I, the same in your eyes.

I wish that we could be as the ponds or the lakes. The land holding the water, surrounding it and letting it erode parts away. Till the water is comfortable and free yet protected.

At last that can not be us, for you the sea are to much to tame an entity all it’s self, free and unpredictable. Yet calm, cool, and tranquil when needed.

And I the land, although I am very important for life, I sometimes wish to be set free! To rumble and crack, having you fill every crevice of my being! To feel the tsunamis of your love crash against my shores, in euphoric ecstasy. The ebb and tide of your waves moving across my beach with such pleasure that we can’t help but froth!

Yet it can not be, for we are too important in our own worlds and to our own creatures! We found our niche and that is were we belong, but to say I have forgotten what we had or what we once were would be ridiculous. The memories of what created, what we now are, will forever be ingrained in my life.

A super continent and massive body of water inchoate in life. We started young and have come so far. So it is, that we must learn to coexist together without sabotaging what we’ve accomplished.

via Daily Prompt: Froth

We were Luminescent

i-want-to-be-everything-you-didnt-know-you-were-looking-for-280824.jpg

From the moment I saw her walk into my class, I knew that she would change my life. I could feel it, I was in love and that was it. A luminescent love that had yet to reach the temperature of incandescence.

Oh what I wouldn’t give to be her everything. I wanted to be the cardigan she wore, loosely fitting but tight enough to feel secure. I wanted to be her glasses, to see the world through her eyes. I wanted to be her phone, something so important that it was always by her side. I wanted to be the book she read before she went to bed, getting all the attention form her. I wanted to be her mirror, to watch her insecurities disappear as she danced and sang in front of me.  I wanted to be her blankets, to cocoon her in a long embrace, trapping her own warmth within and just letting her melt into a vulnerable state.

But most importantly I wanted to be all those things at once, I wanted to be her best friend. The person that could do all those things at once. But I new that I would have to step up my own luminescence, and step out of my comfort zone, A simple gesture would not win her over, it would have to be a triumphant display. I knew I was in for a fight and I was more than ready!