Day Two

I stepped out on the balcony to vape the lady across from me was also vaping. Instead of relaxing I spent the whole time hoping that she wouldn’t say anything to me.

She didn’t.

I took Nova out to make. We walked around the whole building and discovered the people on the first floor don’t pick up their dogs business when he is done. Animals!

 

Day One

I find I fight the urge to peek out the window every five minutes. What could possibly be out there? I bet a lot has changed since I came into the apartment and locked the door behind me.

Also I walked out to my truck and the neighbor down the hall came out. I’m not sure which one of us broke the unwritten rule. I’m pretty sure we are not meant to see each other.

I also discovered a drawer full of outlet covers. I am the ruler of the face plates. Come gets some.

 

Depleted Moments

Battery Low

We have become a society that is crazily dependent on our cell phones for everything. They have become a crutch and have forced us to miss so many moments in life that once you step back and think about it it’s actually astonishing. I don’t know how many times a week I have to hear a complaint from some one (myself included) that goes along the lines of “Oh my phone is almost dead”. This one phrase is never a thing mumbled in a moment of silence or in between conversation. No it has been my experiences that people can’t help but feel obligated to interrupt whatever is going on to let people know that their phones battery has depleted. When this occurs it usually cause a change in conversation, it’s the equivalent of a wild card in Uno.

Why can’t we wait to say this? It’s bad enough that I find it tough to talk to someone that is constantly on their phone, yet this one thing bothers me the most. I would do my best to help you recharge your phone as long as you telling me doesn’t come at the expense of our conversation.

Depleted Moments

Also I feel like we need to learn to do without our phones around our friends. Why can’t we put our phones down to enjoy the time we have with our friends? Now that I am considered an adult and I have to plan out my time with my friends, I can’t understand why we would give up moments just to check our phone. It depletes the moments you have with your friends, I get if you need to answer a call or check a message really quick but there is no good excuse for being on your phone the majority of the time your with your friends.

This is something I really need to work on and something I hope those around me will too. We should learn to enjoy each other and the time we have together. Cell phones should come second. The next time I hang out with my friends I will spend time enjoying it and leave my phone in my pocket.

via Daily Prompt: Deplete

10 Followers

A few weeks ago I decided to put excuses aside and start blogging. I just assumed I would be making a digital journal. I did not expect to see the following and love that I have received! Maybe ten followers isn’t as big of a deal to some as it is to me, but the way I see it, the first ten helped keep me motivated.

To try to explain in any sense, how much that simple click of the follow button means to me would strongly diminish it’s value – being a writer I feel comfortable enough saying that – there really is no way to say it than simply to say, Thank You.

I write because it’s an escape, I can create and explore what ever world I wish to explore and the only limit is my imagination, (I know what a cliché). These last few weeks, I’ve made a big transition, finally getting to move into my apartment after a fire burned our house down on Valentines Day, which also happens to be my anniversary to my late wife, who passed away in august the year before, from complications after child birth (the baby is okay). Valentines Day is also my 4 year old daughters birthday, (My wife and I would have been married 4 years this year, (I’ll let you put two and two together).

I would say we have had a bit of bad luck. Yet I write, I write with hopes that maybe people will be interested in what I have to say. Hope that maybe it will help me clear my mind and shake the webs, But I also write (on this sight) with hope that I can kill two birds with one stone and both clear my mind and entertain. I am hopeful that maybe for once I can put aside my insecurities and show people what I have created, without fear.

So a follow and a like can mean more than you think, and that is true for me. Thank you to everyone that reads my post, comments, like, and follows. I hope that my following will keep growing, but regardless I will keep posting no matter what. By the way if you’ve made it this far than know this, you are the people I am talking about, the real MVP! I hope you come back and enjoy what you read in the future.

“I am Become Death”

At precisely 5:30 a.m. on Monday, July 16, 1945, the skies above Jornada del Muerto, 210 miles south of Los Alamo’s, New Mexico lite up in a big flash of light! The site of the Trinity Test had people in a state of mixed emotions, a moment cemented in history, as signaling the end of WWII and the beginning of a frantic arms race. Yet this one moment in history is but a glimmer compared to everything that has happened and will happen. Years from now kids will be briefly covering this in their history classes. The problem of how much “Ancient History” to add to text books, and history lesson will be the big concern.

Yet I say that just say this. If we look at the scale of one of the biggest historical events and timeline it with other moments in history, we have to admit that it is but a speck on the timeline. With the fact being that this speck will only diminish as time goes by.

I find that I have been thinking about this a lot lately and when juxtaposed to the average life span. It feels like we spend more time dwell on the past, on our mistakes, our heartbreaks and our failures, than we do the future. The average human life is close to 90 years and increasing, and as impressive as that is, its still a short time, yet we waste so much of it focused on the wrong aspect.

We sit and dream about where we could be, or what we could do, and yet never determine to motivate ourselves to do it. Our time is precious  and our opportunity to glimmer in history is fleeting. So we must resolve to do something amazing, even if it seems impossible. Because for me, I would rather die trying to achieve something most would consider inconceivable, than to waste my time wishing that I had tried.

We only have one shot to establish ourselves among the echelons of history, and to preserve our memory. Maybe all we achieve is giving our family a safe haven and making sure they are provided for. Maybe it’s getting our dream car, owning a home, becoming famous, or writing. No matter what it is living a goal motivated life is something that will put you in the history books. Even if all that means is that your memory will live in the stories passed down through your family. If you ask me that’s would be a great way to be remember.

The only way we will ever get there though is to stop dwelling on the failure and the past. We must focus on the achievements still head and strive to succeed. With a zeal and determination that will be worth talking about well after you’ve departed. So it is that we must motivate ourselves before we erase our chance to Glimmer!

via Daily Prompt: Glimmer

Life: Go Disrupt Yourself

A lot happens in life that can disrupt daily routines. As I sit out on the balcony of my apartment, a place I have only lived in for 21 days, I see a lot going on. I see kids playing between the buildings, people coming and going, and sounds of ambulances (I live close to the hospital).

I stop to wonder what would happen if any of these people where to have experienced what I’ve experienced? Would they be able to handle it or would they breakdown in grief and dismay? I don’t like to talk about what I’ve been through that much, but maybe I should. That’s a conversation for another time though.

My point is that sometimes I look at the people going on about their day and I wonder. Will I ever have a routine again? I mean as soon as I was getting into a routine from the first disruption, I was hit with the second one. Most people don’t understand how much I miss the mundane, doing the same thing over and over everyday would be a welcomed change to the amount of paperwork, phone calls, and uncertainty that I deal with. It’s sounds like a desk job but in reality it’s a me just picking up the pieces from everything that has happen. I am to the point that I hate phone calls and people coming to my door, those two things cause so much anxiety for me that I come close to just shutting down. I just can’t afford anymore bad news, that I’ve become an introvert that is starting to borderline on recluse. I’m sure that if I were to drop dead I would still have anxiety, yet what can I do about it?

I have to take care of my children and move forward to show them that you can’t let a little hardship define you and bring you down. I brave on for them. Maybe someday I will figure out how to deal with this anxiety, and when that time comes maybe than I will be able to relax.

via Daily Prompt: Disrupt

Froth: Love Incarnate.

frothing_sea_by_iudexncr

We are like the sea and the land, the beach and the water colliding. Agitating one another, with a passionate friction, the ebb and tide creating a luminescent glow that only we knew about. We belong by each other but not with each other. You are meant for things I could never imagine and I, the same in your eyes.

I wish that we could be as the ponds or the lakes. The land holding the water, surrounding it and letting it erode parts away. Till the water is comfortable and free yet protected.

At last that can not be us, for you the sea are to much to tame an entity all it’s self, free and unpredictable. Yet calm, cool, and tranquil when needed.

And I the land, although I am very important for life, I sometimes wish to be set free! To rumble and crack, having you fill every crevice of my being! To feel the tsunamis of your love crash against my shores, in euphoric ecstasy. The ebb and tide of your waves moving across my beach with such pleasure that we can’t help but froth!

Yet it can not be, for we are too important in our own worlds and to our own creatures! We found our niche and that is were we belong, but to say I have forgotten what we had or what we once were would be ridiculous. The memories of what created, what we now are, will forever be ingrained in my life.

A super continent and massive body of water inchoate in life. We started young and have come so far. So it is, that we must learn to coexist together without sabotaging what we’ve accomplished.

via Daily Prompt: Froth

What’s Friends

Friends are a true treasure, a precious resource that we sometimes tend to treat like a commodity. First off the best friends are like diamonds they are forged in the fires of some of the most difficult times in your life. Seeming to literally come into your life when you need them the most. Walking out of the mist to support and encourage you. So through the last few years I’ve learned a few things about true friends.

First don’t abuse your friends. It’s easy to deal with situations where you are uncomfortable or not use to, by unknowingly attacking your friend. Yet it’s these moments that you should take the time to talk to your friends one on one and lay it all out on the table. If you can’t suck it up and be brutally honest with your friends than you should reevaluate your friendship. Truth is, that sounds more like an acquaintance than a friend. Openness is a crucial part of any relationship so don’t avoid it in friendships.

Never be afraid to break down. Your friends are not going to judge you for crying in front of them, (at least they shouldn’t). Let it out, if your having a shitty day or week or months, your friends will understand. Maybe you need a second opinion, or someone to listen, or you need multiple points of views, it doesn’t matter cause they will do what it takes to help you. If all else fails they will at least distract you and help you have some fun for a while.

Make memories! In those moments late at night, (or early morning) you will find that you will be reminiscing on past experience, so making new ones is a must. Don’t matter what you do, even if it’s just getting a cup of coffee, going to the cinema, or hanging at your house. Those times will be the ones to help strengthen your bond. So do stuff together and never be afraid to try new things, cause if there was anyone to do this with it’s them!

Know when to be thick skinned. Jokes are jokes learn to brush it off and move on, but if you really feel that strongly don’t be afraid to say something. When your joking around trying to one up each other someone is bound to take it to far unintentionally, say something or move forward. When you get going sometimes it’s hard to hold back so be ready to apologize if you feel you’ve gone to far.

Do not give up! Don’t give up on your friends, we all deal with certain situations in different ways. If they step away let them, it might be what they need but always be ready for them when they return, that’s when they will need you the most.

I have some of the best friends I could ask for and without them I wouldn’t have made it through half the shit I’ve been through. I would do anything for these Losers and I would be lost without them. I hope that I will be able to return the favor tenfold! They mean more to me than they know. I love them and I can’t wait to see where we end up!

 

In It For The Long Haul!

I’m in it for the long Haul. Life is unfair, seeming to put us through misery more than victory. Victory is fleeting, difficult to achieve and harder to keep. Life is meant to be lived for those small victories, and the moments in between. When we are going through struggle than we must remember that “this too shall pass”. Our determination and will to push forward, despite life trying to haul us down. That will is what will make the Victory sweeter, but we must enjoy the victory to it’s fullest because “this too shall pass”.

I’ve had my share of unforgiving moments in life, times that felt like I would never make it out of. The death of my parents, the scare of my daughter being in the NICU, the death of my wife and birth of my son, and a house fire. all within 11 years. Which seems like a long time but when those years are filled with so much chaos and uncertainty. You start to forget how to enjoy the calm and peace that come after the victory. I was finding my self more stressed that I wasn’t stressed.

I’ve learned a lot in those years, who my true friends are, who my real family is, and how to keep pushing forward. Determination and understanding is the only thing that will get you through the long haul. Determination to keep moving forward for you, your family or even your loved ones. Understanding that no matter how hard things seem they will get better! We push forward while everything tries to haul us down.

In an eradicate life full of uncertainty and rigmarole, you must enjoy the little moments in life. That is the only way to make to good times out way the long arduous bad times. When you can enjoy sometime with friends laughing and talking, a moment to enjoy a good movie, a relaxing hobby, time with family. Every little bit helps to outnumber the bad, these little moments are the sweetest. They may not be a full victory, but winning the battle goes along way towards victory in the war!

via Daily Prompt: Haul